Stop Asking Kids What They Want to Be When They Grow Up

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.

Specialization is for insects.

-Robert A. Heinlein

On my list of possible careers growing up was chef, baker, model, photographer, massage therapist, and world traveler. I wasted so much time in my 20s trying to figure out the ONE thing I could get good at long enough to stick with it and be paid well for it and nothing came of any of it. Now that I’m nearing my 40s, I’m over this shit.

It has been so exhausting, trying to make myself fit into the box of specialization. There’s so much noise about choosing one thing, when we’re actually quite capable of being so much more.

I’m currently reading Emilie Wapnick’s How to Be Everything as part of my recovery.

There’s a model of success that includes obtaining advanced degrees, high-paying jobs, big houses, getting married and having kids, while accumulating lots of stuff, debt, and stress.

If this is what you want, by all means, go for it! But if you imagine something else for yourself, click here to get your copy of The Fire Starter Sessions. If you want to help others do the same, click here to become a Fire Starter Sessions Facilitator.


Adulting: Are we doing it wrong? Mondays with Melissa is an ongoing conversation about adulthood and the continuous pursuit of personal growth.

Melissa’s working it out in real time, and some of it won’t be pretty.

Join the conversation in the comments. If you’d like to be a guest, let me know your topic in the comments (leave your email in the box that only I will see) and I’ll be in touch.

On Twitter,  reply to me with @HoneyBHolistic #FlawsOutClawsOut and #MotormouthMelissa

About Melissa Danielle

I help high achieving women and coaches over 35 living with PCOS and perimenopause prepare their bodies, lives, and businesses for first-time motherhood.

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