Why Do We Make Things Harder Than They Have to Be?

For six months I kept saying I’m going to make myself a hula hoop since I left mine back in Brooklyn. I had the instructions bookmarked and I went to the hardware store to price the raw materials. For six months, I kept thinking about a hula hoop, knowing that I wanted one custom to my size and my skill level (which is sad for someone who can roll with the best of them).

Yesterday I finally went to the hardware store and bought the materials. It took me less than ten minutes to put it together and less than ten minutes to figure out how to wrap it with the tape. I may need to make a few more hoops get the hang of wrapping, but done is better than perfect.

Even though I saw the instructions, I had it in my head that it would be this big production, and it turned out it wasn’t. It’s probably the easiest DIY project I’ve ever done. It got me to thinking about everyone’s reaction to me leaving Brooklyn. People do it all the time, but for some reason, Hawaii seemed drastic/dramatic/expensive/really far away/whatever else people thought that they haven’t shared.

Maybe, but it’s been one of the easiest things to do, once I did it. And it took me nearly eight years from the beginning of the thought to buying the ticket. Hawaii wasn’t a choice all those years ago, I didn’t have a choice at all. I just wanted to live somewhere without a true winter. In April of 2015 I was looking at flights and played around with departure dates. I wanted to make a couple stops to visit friends before heading over. I booked a one-way ticket to San Francisco with a stop in Dallas, and then a one-way ticket from LA to Honolulu. I took Megabus from SF to LA in the hopes of “seeing” some of California. Those two one-way tickets totaled $501.

We create these stories in our heads out of fear, limits of perception, what we think we deserve, how we value ourselves, and all the other excuses we make about why we can’t have what we want. What happened after I booked my flights was far from easy or comfortable. It’ll be two years this December and I’m still course-correcting. Are there some things I wish I would have done differently? Of course. But it doesn’t matter, because I got out my head and took action.

My biggest takeaway? I didn’t die. 

What do you keep choosing instead of what you really want? How is it making your life better?

Every now and again I get messages or comments from people who wish they could do something like I did. Why are you wishing? Why can’t you have what you want? If you’re reading this, you’re one of the fortunate people in the world who has access to the Internet. Less than half of the world’s population has access to the Internet. Anything you want to do but aren’t sure how to do it is an Internet search or conversation away. It’s highly likely that someone has already done or is thinking about what you want to be doing. You’re not going to find them sitting in the house talking to yourself.

If you’re reading this thinking that I must be some kind of unicorn, stop it. There’s nothing special about me that positions me above you and what you say you want for yourself. You just have to decide that what you want is bigger than your fears. The how-to will present itself the moment you choose to want what you want.

Making this hula hoop was the easy part. Getting it to stay up, well, that’s another story.


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